Rubbin Goodness
by Basched
Summary: Birthday fic dedicated to Brandywine. Jayne is ill and the soothing power of Vicks comes with a price. RAYNE. Some  SOME! slight JAYLEE.


_Author's Note: A one shot inspired from JellieChat, from the Evil Overlord himself BBJ and the lovely JRL. Well I called dibs on the idea and this is the result. However, this story is going to be dedicated to the most awesome and wonderful Brandywine. It was her birthday recently and so I've done this for you. _

_WARNING: Although I am mainly a huge Rayne fan-this is Rayne-I have somehow managed to overcome my fears and put in a tiny teeny hint of Jaylee. *gasp* Not beta'd._

_Also I have experimented with the "cold talk." It is purely for the comedy, but please let me know if it is too over the top. Also I'm so rotten to Mal, you wouldn't think I was a Fillionare._

_Enjoy. _

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* * *

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**Rubbin' Goodness**

When the merc first sneezed it was loud, violent and unpleasant for the poor captain who got in the way. Although Jayne had laughed, a few hours later he was anything but pleased about his condition.

His nose may have been running quicker than a whore's excited nethers, but his sinuses were blocked worse than Serenity's toilet. He could barely breathe and Simon's doctoring—or lack thereof—made his pounding headache worse.

"Rubbin' helb, Doc!" Jayne sneezed, the force of which rocked the med bed and made Jayne upset the tray of Simon's medical tools. Simon himself actually had to leap back against the wall to avoid the force and spray of the sneeze. He grabbed a tissue and held it out to the merc, only to be disgusted further when Jayne wiped his nose on the back of his arm. "Why habben ya curd me? I feel libe gorramb shid!"

"It's a flu strain, Jayne." Simon grimaced and began to pick up the fallen medical tools. "I've given you the shots you need which will prevent further infection, but you have to have plenty of rest to aid your re-cooperation."

"Yeah, ride arber duh band job." Jayne went to slide off the bed, but a successive round of sneezes made him slump to the floor. "Fud!"

"You are not going on this job!" Simon helped Jayne to his feet and assisted the unsteady merc to the doorway of the infirmary. "You are in no condition to do anything let alone attempt do crime. Go to your bunk, drink plenty of fluids—not alcohol—and use this, it will help clear your sinuses and ease your cough."

Simon shoved a small blue glass pot into Jayne's hand and patted his back. He gave the grouchy ill public relations officer a big beamy grin, though through watery blurred eyes Jayne suspected that it wasn't genuine. He looked at the label on the pot and frowned.

"Who id Dick?"

"Vick. It's a product name. What you have there is a remedy which has been going ever since the time of Earth-That-Was. It's proved to be very effective."

Jayne unscrewed the cap and took a deep snotty sniff at the sticky goo inside. The scent was very strong, he could smell it through his blocked nose and breathing it in…oh it felt good.

"Whad do I dood wid it?" Jayne coughed a phlegmy cough which provoked so many sneezes he thought his head would fall off. He wasn't going to wait for instructions, or read them off the label, so he dipped two fingers into the goo, scooped out a chunk and shoved his fingers and the stuff in his mouth. He choked, Jayne's eyes widened and then his face screwed up at the foul taste melting in his mouth. He spat gobs of spit and goo, gagging before commencing coughing again. He was coughing so much he thought he was going to be sick, in fact his stomach was wrenching so hard it was hurting.

"You don't eat it you ape!" said Simon quickly grabbing some water of the side and giving it to him. Jayne took several swigs of it and spat out his mouthful onto the floor. "Do you mind not doing that? It's…ugh! It's gross! Not to mention you're spreading your germs all over my infirmary!"

"Whad duh rubbin' helb am I suppode d' doob wid it?" Jayne sneered after releasing a stuffy string of Mandarin insults to Simon and Vick.

"You rub it on your chest!" said Simon angrily as he grabbed some disinfectant and began to spray down the infirmary. "The soothing vapour will help you breathe easier."

Jayne felt like a fool, he felt even worse with the taste of that _go se_ still in his mouth. He growled at the doc, but that resulted in another intense coughing fit, so he staggered off hacking and spluttering.

"You're welcome!" Simon called out sarcastically before getting back to disinfecting the med bay.

* * *

The bank job went well. The safety deposit box required by their employer was extracted with relative ease and no one got shot, not even the Captain.

Mal, Zoe, Inara, Kaylee and River all walked into the mess hall in high spirits. They were laughing at something, though that laughter and merriment abruptly stopped when they saw the ill merc sitting at the far end of the room. Tucked in behind the smaller table, Jayne was sitting and cupping his hands round a hot steaming bowl of what looked like chicken soup. His head was bowed down low to the bowl, a blanket covered round his shoulders and a box of tissues was on the table, surrounded by scrunched up used rags.

"Hey Jayne!" Kaylee slumped down into a chair at the main table and waved joyfully at the merc. "How ya feelin'?"

A loud erupting sneeze was the mechanic's reply. The table shook, the box of tissues and a few snot rags fell to the floor and Jayne whined when the box landed out of his reach.

"Not any better then." Kaylee pouted sympathetically and poured herself a cup of water from a jug. "Poor Jayne."

"I ain poor!" Jayne replied. "Jus gob a snibble is all. Dong ma?"

"Sure yer do." Said Kaylee smirking as she tried to drink some of her water.

"FYI Jayne, while you were here, snibbling, the job went off without a single hitch!" The Captain happily held out a mug towards his engineer. Kaylee filled it with water and went to help Zoe serve some of the soup into bowls. "I didn't get shot, we can give Felix his money and, of course, get paid ourselves. All in all, a shiny day I reckons. "

"Well I'm glad things worked out for you in your need to do crime." Inara smiled sweetly as she sat next to him at the table. "My time went by smoothly also."

"'Nara god sub rubbin' dun down on thad shid holb?"

"No. I did not." Inara shook her head, mainly amazed that she could understand what the merc was saying. "Not everything I do is about rutting Jayne."

Jayne looked up from the gloopy mess of soup, about to correct Inara but instead he came face to face with River. The youngest member of the crew was inches away from him, caring not that he was ill, that he was sweaty and that her nose was almost touching his runny one. His condition fascinated her, her head swayed from side to side and those little brown eyes blinked and fluttered in a manner that Jayne's own couldn't help but mimic. He snarled, but just as quickly he had to sniff hard to prevent a long trail of snot dripping from his nose. The loud gungy nasal inhale made the others shudder in disgust, but River laughed.

"You're leaking but you're all blocked up!" she said picking up the box of tissue with her feet and handing a single white sheet to the merc. Jayne snatched it off her without saying thank you and wiped and blew his nose as much as he could. "Head is pounding, feeling wretched. You need rest and sleep! Doctor Simon will not be able to help you if you don't help yourself!"

"Gorabbid, mooby!" Jayne flapped an angry arm at the girl but it was feeble weak attempt that hit the edge of the table. "Gode away or I'll sneeb on ya! An' I woob an all!"

River grinned and sat down on the seat next to him, crossing her legs. She had no intention of moving even after the threat of being sneezed upon. Simon eventually sauntered into the galley and joined everyone else at the main table, she didn't even give her brother an acknowledgement.

"River, don't sit close to him. You don't want to catch what he's got." Simon pulled out a chair, gesturing for his sister to come over. She didn't, she accepted the bowl of soup from Zoe and remained at Jayne side. "Mei-mei…"

River stuck her tongue out at Simon and reluctantly he let her remain, instead opting to keep a watchful eye on her as he ate. The crew talked whilst they had their meal, they talked about the job and Mal surprised folk when he mentioned that they would all be having a nice lengthy bout of R&R when they next touched dirt side.

"And where would that be?" asked Zoe.

"Paquin is Felix's home. It's the best place in this part of the 'verse."

"Pabwin?" Jayne moaned. "Aw rubbin' hell! Pabwin's god wealid good whords!"

"Oh no!" cried Simon sarcastically, pressing his hands against his face in mock horror "You have the flu! You won't be allowed near them! However will you cope without your trips to the brothels?"

"Simon that ain't nice!" Kaylee gave him a little slap. "Jayne could be fully recovered by the time we reach Paquin. Don't make him feel worse than what he is by saying he can't have his lady folk."

Jayne sneezed again and again, intermixed with badly cursed Mandarin and coughs. He hacked up some phlegm and when the coughing fits died down, he spat the contents of his mouth into a spare bowl he had by his soup. The sounds more than disgusted everyone else in the room.

"Now that's just a bit off putting," Groaned Mal pushing his bowl away, "Why is he up here instead of in his bunk, away from us healthy folk?"

"I'm hungrid." Jayne snorted, throwing the blanket off his shoulders and reaching down to the bottom of his orange t-shirt. Taking a firm grip, Jayne then proceeded to pull off his top, though not in the one fluid motion he normally did it with.

"Whoa!" Mal shot up from his chair. "There will be no strippin' in my mess hall!"

The tight item of clothing got stuck over Jayne's head and as he began to get furious at being tangled up, he heard Simon's protests when two hands helped to pull him free. The tug of the neckline over his head dazed him a little but it was clear soon after what Simon—and the others—were surprised at. River stood up over him, clutching on to his orange shirt and smiling.

"The sick-Jayne is most welcome!" She beamed.

"Did no one understand the no strippin' thing I mentioned?"

"River!"

Jayne wasn't going to respond. He sneezed again and ignored River when she sat back down next to him, still holding his t-shirt to her chest. Jayne had wanted to say numerous insults to the little dangerous assassin but decided to reach to the space on the chair next to him. He picked up the little round pot that Simon had given him and waved it at Mal, scowling.

"I'm puddin on my goob whad helbs me breed! I ain gebbin me kid off an showid my job tobbas or nubbin!"

"He what now?" Mal looked to Inara in the hopes that she understood what Jayne said. The Companion shook her head, for she didn't understand at all. Jayne coughed and let out a few more sneezes and then waved the pot about.

"The goob!" he angrily sneered. "The goob!"

"The medicine!" River stated happily. "The medicine Simon and I used to have when we were little! The goo! It smells nice!"

"Oh! The goo!" Mal sighed. "Why didn't you say?"

"I dib say! The goob! Jeez, Mal!" Jayne unscrewed the top of the pot and dipped his fingers inside.

The crew all watched with mixed expressions of revulsion, amusement and astonishment as the mercenary proceeded to smear the viscous "goob" over the expanse of his bare chest. His skin and chest hair took on a wet glistening sheen from the ointment, and the strong smell of eucalyptus and camphor made a delectable moan heave from Jayne's mouth. His eyes fluttered shut and his greasy hand slipped down to his side as he breathed in the soothing vapours.

More groans emitted from Jayne Cobb and it was enough to make the others more than a slight bit discomforted. Mal edged away from the table towards the door and Simon followed him, but the women remained where they were. They really couldn't believe their ears.

"Is he…?" Kaylee swallowed and covered part of her face with her hand. "Is he gettin' all…y'know…over that chest rub stuff?"

"I don't think that's so." Zoe responded, not entirely convinced. "Jayne's problie just feelin' better because of its aromatic qualities, it's helping him breathe."

He groaned again, deeper and longer and it was enough for Mal, Simon, Zoe and Inara to hastily exit the mess hall. Kaylee wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or turned on by Jayne's very sensual reaction to the medicine, for she kept looking at him and then turning away, blushing.

"Aw fuddin helbs. Dis feebs gooood!"

Kaylee jiggled in her chair, smothering her mouth with her hand, but when Jayne began to rub at his chest again, she couldn't help but stare. The cupped palm over her lips got a little bit wet as drool started to involuntarily dribble out.

"Oh, now this aint right," She murmured, breathlessly as Jayne continued his deep moans of pleasure. Her legs crossed over and squeezed tightly together as a warm pulse began to twitch down below. "Jayne…!"

A snort of amusement from Jayne made him groan again, purposely getting the ship's mechanic in more of an aroused tizzy.

"Dis turbin yoob on, Leeb? Wanna rub more ond me? Wanna know whad a reelb man feebs like?"

"Dammit Jayne! Stoppit!"

Kaylee let out a squeak of excitement, shoved back her chair and ran from the room quicker than Serenity on full burn. Jayne laughed as her own giggles sounded from down the corridor, yet a coughing fit took over.

When the phlegmy eruptive coughs died down, leaving his head spinning and his chest aching, Jayne stretched his legs and concentrated on breathing in the relaxing aroma. He had been feeling like crap for hours, but the doc had done real good by giving him this stinkin' stuff.

Jayne sneezed, he coughed and spluttered, pulling a stich in his side. He cursed and using a tissue he wiped his face and grabbed for the blanket so he wouldn't start shivering. It was a shame Kaylee ran off like that, she could have done great wonders for helping him. However, he decided that he would finish his soup and fall asleep here, because there was no way in ruttin' hell he was going to try and get back to his bunk.

Jayne was about to sit back up and eat, but before he opened his eyes, two small hands, cold and greased with the vicks, began to gently massage all over his body. Nimble fingers glided over his nipples, making them harden and he hissed in aroused delight. The fingers scratched through the wet hair covering his pecks, palms smoothed against his stomach in circular motions, rubbing more of the oily gloop over in a—oh sweet ruttin jesus!—way that, despite being sick, was making him feel so damned horny.

"Knew ya coulb'n resid, libble Leeb. Rub id in real hard!" The hands were making him more than a bit horny. "Ohhh yeah…jud like dad."

The glorious scent of the vapour rub combined with her massage was making him hard. Stupid thing to do when you're sick, cuz being sick isn't sexy at all. Yet he was definitely stiffening as her sensual rubs went lower, past the waist band of his pants and over his hip bones, smearing his happy trail and abdomen with the ointment.

He gasped, a spasm of excited heat shot all up to his swelling head, but it was spoilt by a huge sneeze.

"Kayleeb…gorab…doc'll kilb us if he fines us lide dis." Jayne grinned and tensed as those soft enticing hands crawled back up over his chest. The smell of the rub was more than just a remedy for his damned flu, it was a strange new "thing" that was doing more than it should be. It was wrong, but his flu ridden body was still damned well reacting to it.

"Simon is your doctor! I can be your nurse!"

"HOLY SHID!"

Jayne's eyes shot open and his body jolted up right, his knees hitting the underneath of the table. Instead of meeting the sweet face of the ship's mechanic, as he had thought it would be, Jayne was staring at the young grinning face of the Moonbrain.

"Whad duh fud? Yer nod Kayleeb!"

River held out her hands towards him, grinning. She turned them back to her and sniffed the vicks vapour ointment that covered her skin. She moaned in a manner just like Jayne had and Jayne didn't like it, because his body certainly did.

"Mooby!" He grabbed hold of her arm, yet when he saw those brown eyes darken to black, he let go. The stare from her darkened eyes was not only dangerous, it meant that if he wasn't careful, he was going to be in a whole new world of pain. "I'm ill. Gerrob me. Fud off!"

Inside, the weapon eased off. Her eyes brightened and the beamy crazy smile returned to her youthful face.

"Bad patient!" River scowled and waggled a gooey finger at Jayne. "I was trying to help! Simon and I had a nurse do this for us when we were ill! Jayne needs a nurse so I shall accept that role! I will make you more chicken soup and hot drinks of lemon and honey! I will rub the eucalyptus on your chest and read you bedtime stories as well!"

"Gorabbid! Beddine spories? Gid away frob me and fud off!" Jayne sneezed.

River giggled and handed him several tissues. Her lilting laughter increased at the bubbling sound that came from his nose and tissue, though he wasn't entirely sure why she found it funny.

"You are a very naughty patient!" River said. The cheeky and innocent smile disappeared in a flash. What replaced it was a look he knew only too well. Jayne began to panic as her hands touched at his chest, he shivered pleasurably. He had to sniff several times, but strangely he didn't try and push her off or yell at her to stop touching him.

"It feels good?" she breathed, shifting herself forward and straddling him. Her fingers massaged into his shoulders and it wasn't long before Jayne was lulled back into a drowsy and blissful contentment. The vapours were doing wonders for his blocked up nose, but the crazy's ministrations were doing wonders for other parts of his anatomy.

He groaned. River responded with one of her own.

"Dis feebs….fud, dis is…" he couldn't get the words out, because he didn't want to admit this. Jayne didn't want to admit that the whacked out crazy but deadly River was giving him a hard on just by rubbing ointment on him. He was so damned sick…and not just with the flu. He was a lecherous old _hun dun_ getting all worked up with the girl on his lap.

The sneezing and coughing fit soon saw to it that River got off his lap.

River handed him more tissues and patiently sat beside him until he stopped. Jayne was feeling like utter crap. Then his stomach growled.

"You must eat soup, and drink plenty of liquids!" said River wrapping the blanket around Jayne's shoulders. "Then I will take you to bed!"

"Aw helb no!" Jayne shot up to his feet, stumbling into the wall. He staggered out from behind the table and across the room, hitting and crashing into anything that blocked his path. He almost collapsed at the doorway and had to steady himself for a few minutes.

"He's afraid."

Jayne leapt away from the door, his foot tripping on the step as River stood mere inches from him, rocking on her feet.

"He's afraid because he wants her to help. He's scared that she will make him purr as she rubs up against him and that he'll enjoy it. He will. Her hands are not just for killing, they can do _very_ good things."

Jayne shook his head, afraid beyond anything at the way his body was now throbbing and aching at such thoughts. Little Jayne was screaming out for the girl to do just that, but with every bit of strength and effort he had left in him, Jayne clambered through the door and ran to his bunk.

There in the safe confines of his room, he wrapped himself up in the blankets and curled up on his bed. The smells of the vicks vapour rub slowly lulled him into a coma like sleep, but his dreams were anything but restful.

There was only the girl, him and lots of "rubbin."

* * *

River sneezed. It was loud, high pitched and again unpleasant for the Captain who got in the way. She had apologised to Mal and he accepted it before rushing off to wash himself down.

"Poor Cabbin-daddy." She said, swinging her legs. "I dib nod meed do sneeb all overd him. Id wad quide subben."

Simon was not impressed. He placed another blanket around his shivering sister and stroked at her greasy tangles of hair. He had told her not to go near Jayne when he had his flu, but as usual his mei-mei didn't listen. Now she was afflicted with the virus. She lay on her bed, her eyes peeking out through the layers wrapped around her, she was so fragile right now that Simon didn't want to leave her alone.

"Do you fink dat Cabbin-daddy is angreeb wid me?" she moaned, sneezing.

"No, River." Simon smiled. "But next time remember to cover your mouth and nose. I'm actually surprised that he himself hasn't come down with the flu after you and Jayne have both sneezed on him. But it could happen. Now you, missy…you concentrate on getting better. I'll get you some warm drinks and check up on you every so often. For now…get some sleep."

"I wilb Sibon. I ab mode gradefulb."

Simon blew her a kiss and walked to the sliding door, only to pause when he heard River murmur something from beneath her blankets.

"Could you leeb de gooby paper rub?"

Simon took the pot from his pocket and set it down on the bedside table. He backed away quickly when River sneezed continuously and he watched from the door as a single little hand poked out from beneath the layers and snatched the pot away. The roll of blankets then shuffled back down to a lying position and wriggled until River was comfortable.

"Get well soon, Mei-mei."

"I indend doob."

* * *

Jayne strolled down the corridor, humming to himself. Now he was all better and Serenity was stopping off dirt side, he was in a great mood.

He wasn't confined to his bunk any more, sneezing and coughing like some weakling. He could hold any of his ladies without his hand shaking or his eyes blurring and damn, he could go back on jobs again. He could even visit the cathouse that he knew was in this town they was visiting. No more time being ill and definitely no more calls from the moonbrain, leaving him nice warm drinks and food. Jayne had tried to lock his bunk every night, but each morning when he woke up, he found some breakfast by the side of his bed, a thermos of hot lemon and on some occasions some clean clothes and blankets. It had freaked him out that River had done his laundry, it had freaked out everyone…but least now she weren't bothering him.

"Well! Someone looks happy," Said Kaylee, as she came up from her own bunk. Jayne nodded. "Off t'sex some whores are ya?"

"Sure am. But that offer of sexin' is always open for you, little Lee." He winked playfully and nudged her with his elbow. Kaylee's cheeks flushed and she jabbed him back.

"You'll never stop askin' will ya?"

"Only till ya stop gettin' all wet an quivery bout me. Don't see that ever happenin'!"

Jayne received another bout on his arm and Kaylee slowly walked away. Jayne pulled off his shirt and whistled at her when she reached the door way to the mess hall. She turned round and he held his arms out towards her in invitation.

"You still reckon the doc looks better than this?" he smirked, puffing out his chest. She rolled her eyes and that one extra look she put over her shoulder made Jayne laugh before he descended into his room. He did love toying with her, he'd done so ever since they first met, but she was too hooked up on the doc.

Jayne threw his shirt over to the pile of other used shirts and he began to rummage the pile next to it for his stripy whoring shirt. It had been a while since he wore it and was probably very crumpled…but then again it never did stay on long enough when he found the right willing woman.

Picking up the blue and white shirt from underneath his other favourites, Jayne shook it a couple of times to get it reasonably straight, yet a loud sneeze from his bed made him jump and as he spun round, his back caught at the sink.

"_Ai ya, tian ah!_ Dammit! What the hell are you doin' in my bunk?"

From the wrapped up bundle of sheets a little pale face peeked out. Despite the weakened state she was in, River Tam smiled. She was not in the least bit scared or perturbed by the fact that she was in the wrong room.

"Get out!" Jayne shouted, hoping that this time she would actually move. She did nothing except curl up even more on the bed. She coughed, which sounded more like a hic-up than anything else, but she really wasn't budging. Jayne had lost all kinds of patience…in fact his patience was so far gone, it weren't even in the same part of 'verse as they was.

"I don't know what yer playing at, girlie but enough is enough! I'm tellin' Mal!"

"Unfaired. I looked afder you, made you food and did yord washid."

"I din't gorram ask ya ta do my washing!"

"Bad Jaybe!" Something flew from the confines of the blankets and hit him on the chest. The thermos bottle bounced off him and rolled across the floor. "Your so meeb! I do nide dings an' I ged no dankyous?"

"Huh? What did'cha say?" One of Jayne's eyes squinted shut as his brain tried to figure out what the moonbrain just said, however, he then realized that it didn't matter one bit what she was saying. "Get out!"

"On one condidon!"

Conditions? There shouldn't be any conditions! She started sneezing again and the sniffling and heavy breathing only made Jayne more anxious to get her away from him so he could get down to the whore house.

Nah. She wouldn't be telling him what to do!

Jayne reached out to grab hold of her and drag her out of his bunk, yet the sight of the small blue pot in her hands made him pause. It also made him remember that he didn't have a shirt on. The vicks vapour rub had done wonders in helping him breathe during his illness and that moment in the mess hall…

Jayne gulped. He had often wanted the strange girl to rub him up again, but Jayne put those strange—yet so damned hot—thoughts down to him being ill. The dreams hadn't helped, certainly not of the rubbing and the…other things. He gulped again and tried not to think about what his nethers were reacting to.

A grinning, almost evil sick face peeked out from the blankets.

"Nod deleriub. Good dreabs. Dreabs of de girl nod Kayleeb. Wands to rub wid de girl."

The tiny yet lethal hand wove the pot about in the air and it was all too clear what she wanted to do. Jayne's anger had turned to fear, he kept looking up at the hatch, but his gaze fleeted back to the witch on his bed. She was reading his mind again.

"No! No ruttin' way! I ain't sick, I don't need ya rubbin' me up again. You're the one who's got snot danglin' from ya nose and being all grossified! Take your flu ridden ass back to your own room and use that stuff on yaself!"

There was a whine, a chorus of hic-up coughs and sneezes, then River struggled to her feet.

"Bud duh girl dond hab a nurd do help her. She needs a nide nurd to rub duh goob…" River laughed at that comment, coughed again and carried on. "Jabe, can you rub the goob on me do helb me breed?"

Jayne pulled a face. He caught only one word from that sentence and to him it sounded really wrong. Really _really_ wrong.

"Breed? You haven't gotten better one bit since Miranda, have ya? I ain't breeding with you, crazy! That's what married folks and folks who want kids do! I don't wannem and I don't wannem with you…because you're sick. It aint kosher to sex sick people."

Something else hit him on the chest. The box of tissues joined the thermos on the floor.

"Will you quit throwing things at me?"

"Nod breed! BREED!" River took a very long sniff, the mucus burbled and it made both of them wince in disgust. Jayne did understand his mistake.

"Breathe! Oh right…ya wanna breathe. Well, rub that stuff on ya chest, it's what its for."

"I know! Was nod askid to have indercourd wid you! I wad Jabe to…"

The act of the blankets falling to the floor told Jayne more than plenty. His mouth dropped open at the sight of the naked girl—oh hell, woman!—in his room. His mouth salivated as his eyes devoured the nicely filled out nekkidness of River Tam and good ole JT was starting to make things more than a little tight. Jayne's mind screamed at him.

_"Whatcha doin' ya hun dan? She's ill! Can ya not see how unattractive all that sneezin' and coughin does to her?"_

Jayne was going to voice those very same words to her, however the lid had already come off, the aroma numbed any protesting thoughts and his fingers dipped down into the goo without his realizing.

"Plead Jabe. Plead rud my ched."

"Oh goramit." Jayne murmured as he extended his hand towards her heaving 'ched.' "I'm goin' to the special hell."


End file.
